Of Pain and Love
by BK Love-ah
Summary: Lacey's last year at Hogwarts. She stays brave in the face of darkness, despite feeling heartbroken at the possibility of Neville having feelings for someone else. Seventh and final story of 7, telling of Lacey's magical journey. I DO NOT OWN HP, only Lacey and her family. Rating will eventually change. R&R!
1. Ambush

_**Hi everyone! Whew, I can't believe we're finally at the last one. Thanks again for your support and patience, and I hope you enjoy!**_

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That summer was probably the worst summer of my life. Nobody could enjoy the few rays of sunshine that there were. It was abnormally dark, after all, and with good reason. Ever since Dumbledore's murder, nothing could give off very much light anymore. Our beacon of hope was diminished.

We stayed in contact with the Order, though. With the cause's greatest ally gone, Harry was in more danger than ever. Mum and Dad had volunteered to help with getting him to safety. They wouldn't let me join in on the plan, which was one of the most frustrating things I'd ever experienced.

"But Dad—"

"Absolutely not, Lacey. It's too dangerous for you."

"And what of you two? Mum, how will you be able to fly?"

She looked at me, seeming to understand my concerns.

"Your dad'll be right by me, love."

"Well, is…isn't there something I can do?"

"You'll be at the Burrow, remember? You can help keep watch for the rest of us."

"I know." I sighed, ultimately uncrossing my arms. "I just feel useless."

"Oh, sweetheart," said Dad, resting a hand on my shoulder. "We feel the same. But knowing that you're safe with Molly at her place will make it easier for us to concentrate. That's something, right?"

I got his point, but it was still hard to feel optimistic.

"Well then, we'd better go."

Apparently, it was too risky for us to use Apparition or Floo powder to get to the Weasley residence. But we still had our brooms, and Belle further simplified things by flying with her own power. The afternoon sky almost made it seem like it was nighttime already. Then again, it probably helped with keeping us hidden from onlookers below.

Before I knew it, we'd landed in the front lawn and Mrs. Weasley was coming out to greet us.

"Oh, you're here!"

It was wonderful to see her again, even under the sad circumstances. But upon going inside the family's restored home, we were further pleased to see our other friends waiting near the fireplace. Several of the Order members were there, along with Hagrid, Hermione, Ron, and two others I hadn't met before. One of them was Bill, another one of the Weasley siblings. The other was a small fellow called Mundungus. He seemed a bit shifty, so there wasn't much of an urge to get to know him. I was surprised to see Fleur Delacour with Bill, but she certainly wouldn't have been present if she weren't an ally. As great as it was to see everyone, the fact that we were all gathered made me very nervous.

"So what exactly is going on?" I asked when the salutations had quieted a bit.

"We're moving Harry here tonight. We need to—"

"Enough, Remus," Alastor growled. "There's no time to explain. Suffice it to say that the plan is complicated to the point where any delays will damage its chances of success."

"Why? Is it dangerous?"

"Fairly. Death Eaters are all over the place."

My panic increased upon hearing this. As the people began filing out of the house, I ran to Mum and Dad.

"Don't do this. Please!"

"Lacey, it'll be fine."

Despite how confident Dad sounded, I wasn't convinced.

"I want Harry to be safe, but isn't there an easier time?"

"No. They won't even be expecting us to do it tonight. We'll be all right."

"Listen to them, miss."

Alastor glanced over to the door, prompting my parents to exit. I could only peer after them with a helpless feeling in my gut. I don't know how, but the Auror must've read my mind or something.

"Your dad's right, you know. They won't expect Potter to make his move tonight, so it should work out."

"It should?"

"It will. You just sit tight here, and the rest of us will be back soon."

Though my brain was consumed with worry, it didn't stop me from noticing something odd. Alastor gave me a very peculiar look before going outside. There was a sort of dormant tenderness in his good eye. To this day, I'll never know what made the thought pop into my head. But nevertheless, I ran out just as he was getting on his broom.

"Alastor!"

He turned to me, and even while remembering his assurances, a tiny pang of dread prodded me to ask him a significantly personal question. While he didn't answer, I didn't really need confirmation to know it was true. The discovery only made me wish for the group's safe return even more.

"Be careful!" I shouted just before he took off.

With that, they were all gone.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

I could only wait with Molly and Ginny for the next couple of hours, though it felt like days. Despite being able to eat a bit of the food offered to me, my stomach felt too heavy for a full meal. Eventually, Mrs. Weasley took the tray and stood.

"I'll be back," she said, making sure to smile before heading to the kitchen.

While Belle slept on a stray pillow near the stairs, Ginny and I simply sat next to the unlit fireplace for a few awkward moments. We'd never talked a whole lot with each other, but then again, given how things were, there was no better time to make friends than now.

"Have you seen Harry since school?" I asked.

She seemed almost startled, but answered nonetheless.

"No, not really. A note here and there, but that's it. You?"

"No."

That's all I could think of saying at the moment, and I'm fairly sure it was the same for her. We were both worried for our respective families. It was hardly the time for making small talk. Then again, there was no further need of it when we heard a loud noise outside.

"What…?"

I stood, as did Ginny. The rumblings ultimately stopped, but it didn't diminish our concerns in the least. However, upon the three of us going out the door, I was quickly comforted to see two drenched but very familiar figures approaching.

"Harry. Hagrid." Molly sounded relieved as well, if only for a moment. "What happened? Where are the others?"

"Is no one else back?"

A pang of dread swelled within my stomach at the sight of Harry's agitated expression. As much as I didn't want to believe it, I knew something was wrong.

"They were on us right from the start, Molly," Hagrid mumbled, sounding out of breath. "We didn't stand a chance."

"Well, thank goodness you two are all right."

As the giant man went on to mention there being an ambush, I let my eyes skim the tall grass surrounding the house. Part of me expected Mum and Dad to suddenly appear unharmed at any moment, but there was no sign of them. Then, out of nowhere, a flash of light preceded a loud whack within the weeds.

"Here!"

It was Remus. I had to blink twice, as it seemed that Harry was next to him. But after a few seconds, the bloody figure began morphing into someone with red hair.

 _Wait, is that…? Did they use Polyjuice?_

"Quick, into the house."

Not wanting to dawdle, I followed the others inside, where George was laid down onto the sofa. Whatever was wrong with him, it looked pretty bad. But maybe my alarm was due to seeing all that blood. It occurred to me to ask if he was all right, but to my shock, Lupin grabbed Harry and threw him against the wall, wand at the ready. I certainly wasn't the only one taken aback by this, as Hagrid swiftly spoke up.

"Lupin!"

"What're you doing?" Ginny asked, getting nothing but a brief _shush_ in response. After a couple of tense seconds, my former teacher opened his mouth.

"What creature sat in the corner the first time Harry Potter visited my office in Hogwarts?"

"Are you mad?"

" _What creature?!_ "

I went to intervene, only for Molly to put a hand on my shoulder. In any case, poor Harry soon spat out his answer.

"A Grindylow."

With that, Remus released him and turned away.

"We've been betrayed," he said after a moment. "Voldemort knew you were being moved tonight. I had to make sure you weren't an imposter."

Harry nodded just when Mum stepped through the door, much to my relief. However, she and Lupin quickly held out their wands.

"The first thing you ever said to me?" he cautiously asked, getting a quick response.

"Out of my way," Mum said. "Don't protect that greasy little squealer."

She pocketed her wand as Dad entered the house and stepped next to her.

"I'll bet you wish you'd gotten out of her way now, right?"

Remus chuckled slightly, but before he could lower his wand, we all heard a familiar sound from outside. He was out the door before anyone could stop him. Too distracted to focus on any of that, I ran to my parents and pulled them close. I was so happy they hadn't been hurt, and they seemed just as relieved. As everyone filed into the house, our attention soon went back to George. Despite his wound, he was able to maintain his classic sense of humor.

 _Well, that's not a bad sign._

Just then, Bill stepped forward with a grim look on his face.

"Mad-Eye's dead."

An overwhelming grief ran down my spine upon hearing this, but I tried to contain my composure as he went on.

"Mundungus took one look at Voldemort and Disapparated."

I could barely process that, since my thoughts were still stuck on Alastor. The only thing that registered with me was Mum's functioning arm going around me. It was too unreal.

 _How…? He's the best we've got! He was…no, it can't be._

But it was. Though it hadn't really hit me yet, I knew it wasn't make-believe. Alastor truly was gone, just like Arabella was.

And they were in love.

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	2. Sad Goodbyes

_**Hi again! Read on and enjoy.**_

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I could barely sleep at all that night. Every time the urge to doze off came upon me, thoughts of Alastor entered my mind. The only way to help myself get any rest was to think about how he and Arabella were finally reunited. It was an equally sad notion for both of them to be gone, but for the moment, I was able to sleep. The fact that I was going to Neville's the next morning didn't hurt either.

Once the sun was up, I got my things together and made sure Belle was ready. Mum and Dad decided to stay behind for Fleur and Bill's wedding. I would've done the same, but both Neville and I wanted to get a move-on with Dumbledore's Army before school started.

"Be careful," Dad told me. "You sure you don't want one of us to take you there?"

"No, I'll be fine."

"All right. We'll see you after the wedding."

After giving him and Mum one last hug, I went over to say goodbye to everyone else. I knew Harry, Ron, and Hermione had something planned in place of going back to Hogwarts, and while the specifics of it were unknown to me, I trusted in it.

"Bye, Lacey," said Harry.

"Whatever it is you're thinking of doing, just stay safe. All of you."

They nodded. Once done with my farewells, Belle and I were off.

It didn't take all that long to get to the Longbottom residence, but having some private time in the sky was oddly comforting. I could feel the wind blowing past me at every moment. The ride practically flew right by, and before I knew what was happening, I'd landed a few feet from Neville's front porch.

"Lacey!"

I stepped off my broom just in time to return my friend's embrace. Being with him was almost enough to make me forget about all that was wrong.

"Come on inside."

After going through the door, I watched Belle scamper off somewhere and glanced back at Neville.

"Oh, is your grandma out?"

"Yeah, she had to get some bread and eggs. Here, I'll take that."

Like a true gentleman, he took one handle of my trunk and helped me carry it to the spare bedroom. We placed it at the foot of the bed before plopping down next to each other.

"So how are you?" he asked. "You said you were going to the Weasleys for a while."

"Yes, I did." I suddenly felt my sadness return. "Some Order members were there, and they actually brought Harry."

"Oh, is he all right?"

I nodded, looking down.

"But Mad-Eye was killed, along with Harry's owl."

Neville seemed nearly as distressed as I was upon hearing this.

"I'm sorry, Lace."

"Thanks. But at least everyone else was safe."

He nodded, fumbling with his fingers.

"Do you know what Harry's up to?"

"No, but he's planning to do something. I think Ron and Hermione are going with him."

Things were quiet for a little bit. It was too sorrowful for me to think of anything else to say in the matter, and Neville obviously couldn't add to the conversation either. So he changed it.

"Well, I'm really happy you're here."

"So am I."

Just seeing him smile made my heart feel warm again.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Surprisingly, the next few days passed fairly quickly. It was nice to be in my friend's company after not seeing him for so long. Augusta was as gracious of a host as ever, if not a bit stern. Then again, that was normal for her. Though we felt it to be too risky to go outside, Neville and I still had plenty to do. We played with Belle, helped around the house, and listened to the radio. But most of the time, we just talked. We'd discuss any random thing that popped up in our heads. At one point, part of me was tempted to voice how I felt about him, but my fear always got the best of me.

 _What if he doesn't feel the same way back? After all that's happened, I don't know if I could bear it…_

Then, while lying in bed one night, I had a horrid feeling more than strong enough to shatter my temporary warmth. I couldn't explain it at the time, but Arabella's locket almost seemed to be vibrating a tiny bit. Needless to say, sleep didn't come to me. My dormant fears were realized at the breakfast table the next morning when Augusta told us of Voldemort's takeover of the Ministry.

"You're sure?" I asked.

"It's what they're saying. Bloody awful, it is."

I hadn't even taken three bites of toast, but I couldn't finish it. We didn't have all the information yet, but every sliver of it that the older woman gave us was worse than the last one. The new decrees stated that attendance at Hogwarts was absolutely mandatory, whether we wanted to go or not. However, we had to prove our blood statuses; Muggle-born students were no longer allowed to go. Since Neville was a pure-blood and my mother was a widely known half-blood, both of us had no choice but to go back to school.

"What the hell are we supposed to do?"

"I dunno," Neville said as we sat upon the living room couch later in the day. "We can't very well skip, or we'll go to Azkaban."

I looked out the window while patting Belle. She was sound asleep in my lap for the moment, but something told me she knew what was going on. After a few seconds, my friend gently laid his hand upon my free arm.

"Listen, we could still keep the Army alive. That's something, right?"

I shrugged, trying to appreciate his optimistic mindset. Just then, we were both distracted by Augusta entering the room.

"Lacey, you have some visitors."

"Hmm?"

I was confused for a second, but upon seeing Mum and Dad enter the room, I immediately sat up and ran over to them. If she hadn't woken up just in time, poor Belle might've been thrown off of me.

"Are you all right? What happened?"

"We're fine, love. But you need to sit down. We can't stay long."

All of us gathered in the room and started talking about what happened. My parents already knew about the takeover. Apparently, Kingsley had sent a Patronus to the wedding and informed everyone. My heart started pounding when they mentioned Death Eaters showing up there, but Dad quickly spoke up.

"It's all right. Everyone's alive, and Harry got away with the others. Your mother and I Disapparated just in time as well."

"We didn't really want to," Mum added. "But Arthur insisted that we get as far away as possible."

"Why?"

"Lacey, You-Know-Who is rounding up all the Muggle-borns he can get his hands on. We're not sure if he's killing them, but whatever he's doing, it isn't good."

My breath felt like it was stuck in my throat.

 _Dad's Muggle-Born. Does that mean…?_

"What'll happen to you?"

"Nothing, if we can help it. Abby and I are going to lay low for a while."

"But where?"

"We can't tell you, sweetheart," Mum told me, the sadness evident in her eyes. "If the Death Eaters try to question you…"

"How will I contact you?"

"That's not going to be an option, love."

I could feel the tears coming like the fastest train. Unable to stop myself, I went across the room and threw my arms around both my parents. They immediately returned the embrace.

"They won't find us, Lacey," Dad whispered, stroking my hair. "We just can't risk them getting wind of where we are."

"You're not going back home?"

"No, and neither can you. We went back and got the rest of your school things, but that's all we had time for. It's in a trunk by the door."

"I don't care about my school things. I won't go back."

"Don't say that."

"I won't!"

"It's not going to be forever, Lace. But we need to wait until we're all strong enough to fight them." Mum took my face in her hands as she spoke. "And just remember that if you don't hear any news about us, it means we're safe."

I could barely process any of this. The thought of not being able to talk to either of them, not knowing whether or not they were safe…it was too much. The sight of Dad standing up only made things worse.

"We need to go now. Augusta, Neville, thank you both so much."

He pulled me close, as did Mum. After a few agonizing seconds, I felt them loosen their hold. Despite my attempts to stay near them, Neville's hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"We love you so much, Lacey. Please stay safe."

Mum had started crying by this point, as had I. She squeezed my hand one final time, and the second our fingers separated, they were both gone. Neville did his best to soothe me with a warm hug, but my grief was too strong. I barely noticed Augusta leave the room as my friend led me back to the sofa and put his arms around me again.

"Shh, it's okay."

 _But what if it's not? I trust them, but…what if I just saw my family for the last time?_

It was deathly quiet for the next few minutes. My weeping had softened, but there was no stopping my tears. I tried distracting myself by focusing on how warm Neville's embrace was, to no avail. He was silent for a little while before carefully speaking.

"They're really strong, Lace. He won't find them."

As hard as it was, I tried to latch onto his encouragement.

"At least there's a bright side," I muttered, sitting up to wipe my tears. "Not much more can go wrong, huh?"

Augusta suddenly came back into the room a couple of seconds later with the latest _Daily Prophet_.

"This just came," she told us grimly.

"What's wrong, Gran?"

"You kids have your new Headmaster."

The woman handed her grandson the paper, and the moment I saw Snape on the front page, my insides boiled with shock, fear, and fury.

 _Well, I guess plenty more has yet to go wrong._

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	3. For Dumbledore

_**Hi again! Read on and enjoy.**_

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Yes, things did indeed go wrong. Not only did Voldemort take over the Ministry, but he also took over Hogwarts. And to make matters worse, he appointed Dumbledore's killer as our Headmaster and two Death Eater siblings as professors. As much as I didn't want to go back, Neville and I knew all too well that we had no choice. Some of the new textbooks we got in Diagon Alley were a pretty good indication that our final year would be different in a very unpleasant way.

We tried to distract ourselves in the last days of summer break, but after a while, it just became a bother. Nobody could ignore what was happening, so there was no use in attempting it. When the first of September ultimately arrived, all we could do was drag ourselves out of bed, have some breakfast, and let Augusta take us to King's Cross.

"You sure that dog of yours is all right in your trunk?" she quietly asked me at the platform.

"Yeah, she's used to being smuggled in by now."

"All right, then. And Neville, you've got Tr—oh, I forgot."

Neville grinned slightly at this.

"In the lake, Gran. Remember?"

"Right you are. Better for the both of you, I'd say."

I couldn't help but smile. Trevor had indeed wandered into a pond during our sixth year, but Neville didn't seem all too upset by it.

"Well, off you go," the older woman said. "Be careful, both of you."

The two of us looked out the window at her as the train pulled away and left the platform behind.

OOOOOOOOOOO

Eventually, we wandered into our train car and sat in a booth across from Ginny.

"Hey, Ginny."

"Oh, Neville."

She seemed quite down, not that I could blame her. Harry and Ron's unknown whereabouts probably had her greatly on edge. However, upon remembering something, I spoke up.

"So…we're going to do something with the Army, aren't we?"

"Yeah," the younger girl said, sitting up a bit straighter. "Any ideas, Neville?"

"Well, we need to think of how to get the word out…"

For the next hour or so, the three of us talked about all sorts of ideas regarding Dumbledore's Army, each one seeming even more dangerous than the last. But it felt nice to do something rebellious. After all, we couldn't just stand idly by while Voldemort spread his terror without a whim.

Suddenly, the train came to a stop as black cloudy wisps appeared outside. I had a good idea of what that meant, and when a handful of Death Eaters appeared at the door, my suspicions were realized. As much as I wanted to grab my wand and curse them until their ugly noses bled, that would've been a nasty death waiting to happen. I could only sit stiffly in my seat as they looked around. Then, Neville got up from next to me.

"Hey, losers. He isn't here."

My heart skipped a beat. While I was deeply afraid for him, it was so encouraging to see my friend showing such bravery.

"Stupid boy," one of the burly men muttered as he strode over to us and gave Neville a good shove in the shoulder. "You'd best watch yourself."

Neville sat back down, but we smiled sneakily at each other. Things were deathly quiet for a little bit longer, but once the Death Eaters left the train, both the engines and our chattering started up again.

"Well," Neville muttered, "that's a start, right?"

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Once we got to Hogwarts, it felt like a different place. Everyone was clad in their school robes, but the Great Hall wasn't nearly as joyful as it used to be. In fact, to my great sorrow, the ceiling wasn't enchanted anymore. The sorting ceremony was a rather stiff affair. Poor McGonagall sounded almost like a robot while calling the names of new students. I knew she wasn't bewitched, though.

 _No. She's just scared, like all of us._

And I didn't blame her. The two new professors, Amycus and Alecto Carrow, were sitting up at attention in their respective seats at the High Table. The other teachers didn't react to them being there, but it was easy to tell they were trying their best not to inch away from the new editions. When everyone was sorted and our head of house had gone back to her seat, Neville gently nudged my arm from next to me.

"Where d'you think he is?"

He was eyeing the large empty seat where Dumbledore would normally be, and my stomach turned at the thought of Snape taking his place.

"I don't know, but I hope he chokes on his food tonight."

At that moment, the door next to the High Table opened. Praying that he hadn't heard my remark, I lowered my head along with everyone else. I couldn't see anything aside from my empty plate, but the resounding footsteps made it all too clear who had just entered the hall.

"Students, new and returning, you will find that the wizarding world as you once knew it is no more."

Even when he was at his absolute worst while teaching us, I had never hated the sound of his drawling voice more than I did at this moment.

"There will be no further tolerance of lesser talent or unworthy beings. You will all be witnesses to the new age of our world."

By this point, he had gone past the podium and was walking down the middle aisle.

"But for this world to come about, it will require the complete obedience of all who wish to be part of the greater good. Anyone who shows the smallest fraction of disobedience in this school will wish they were never born. This applies to every person within these walls, whether you are a student or a teacher."

It took great restraint on my part to not reach for my wand when I heard him behind me. I would've been disarmed (or even killed) before opening my mouth, of course, but at least I'd be showing that the Death Eaters hadn't destroyed our spirits. Nevertheless, I thought of Mum and Dad, and of how they'd pleaded with me to stay safe for them. Their faces in my mind kept me calm enough to endure the rest of Snape's speech and notice the food appearing on our plates. For the duration of the meal, there was no noise aside from the silverware. Everybody was terrified of putting a single toe out of line, even while eating. And unfortunately, our Headmaster didn't end up choking that night.

We all breathed a bit easier once in the Gryffindor common room. Belle was happy to be back in my arms, and for the moment, we were safe. Professor McGonagall coming in through the portrait was even more of an encouraging sight.

"Children, please gather 'round for a moment."

As soon as all of us were in the room together, she spoke to us in a clear but tense voice.

"I hope all of you know that, like yourselves, I have no love for our new way of life, to say nothing about our new staff members."

Several people muttered in agreement.

"But for your own safety, _please_ listen. All of you must obey the rules put into place by the Headmaster." There was obvious disdain in the way she said the word, but it didn't stop the objections. "I say this because it's not the same as it was. In previous years, we learned magic for the sake of strengthening our knowledge of this gift and, if the need should arise, to protect ourselves. Now, you will have to protect yourselves each and every day. The Headmaster, someone who was supposed to protect you and help you learn, has betrayed us all and used _murder_ to obtain his position. Evil has breached our walls, and there is no getting rid of it at the moment. I will do all I can to keep each and every student safe, as will all other teachers loyal to Professor Dumbledore's cause. But in dealing with these vile people, you _cannot_ give them any reason to harm you, because they _will_ harm you. They will harm your loved ones to scare you into obeying. And if they wish, it's entirely possible that they will _kill_ you."

The whole room stayed silent for a long time.

"That having been said, the Sorting Hat placed you all in Gryffindor for a reason. I'd advise you to hold your friends close and remain courageous, no matter what this year will entail. It's what our late and true Headmaster would want."

Just then, I felt an urge to do something. I took Neville's hand into mine, while reaching out to grab Seamus's hand.

"For Dumbledore," I said, lifting their hands and looking at McGonagall with all the strength I had.

Neville smiled down at me and spoke.

"For Dumbledore."

"For Dumbledore," Seamus added.

Pretty soon, Ginny, Dean, and everyone else joined in. With our hands locked, we made our loyalty known.

"For Dumbledore!"

"Yes, for Dumbledore," the professor said.

And for the first time that night, she smiled.

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	4. Strangeness

_**Hi again! Read on and enjoy.**_

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As bad as things were, it made it much easier for me to appreciate the lessons I had with my usual professors. And though most of them couldn't say anything risky when there were Slytherin students in the room, their determination to help us in any possible way was pretty evident. Even Professor Trelawney was predicting that dragons would kill both the Carrow siblings before the year's end.

Focusing on my course work was all I could do to distract myself, and luckily, it paid off when it came to my best subject.

"Miss Ravensdale, would you stay a moment?" Professor Flitwick requested at the end of the term's first Charms class.

I did so, not worried at all. Once everyone else was gone, the teacher climbed onto one of the desks and addressed me.

"I wished to speak with you regarding your advanced Charms lessons."

"Oh."

Part of me suddenly dreaded him bringing up the idea of cancelling them, but he soon reassured me.

"Are you still interested in continuing, dear?"

"Yes, of course."

"Good, I hoped you'd say so. With everything that's been happening these past few months, you'll need all the help you can get. And if I may, might I ask a small favor?"

"Yes?"

He inched a bit closer and lowered his voice.

"I think it would be smart if you pass on what I teach you to as many of your friends as you can, at least up until this madness comes to pass. You'll still be learning important techniques that will help you become a teacher someday, but…"

"I understand," I replied, nodding my head. "The circumstances are just dire right now."

"Precisely. So, would Wednesday nights after supper work for you?"

"Yes."

"Splendid. Well, you should head off. Don't be late for your next class."

"Right. Thanks, Professor."

"And Miss Ravensdale?"

I looked back at him before reaching the door.

"Be careful."

"Yes, sir."

 _I'll certainly try._

OOOOOOOOOOOO

But trying proved to be very difficult, especially when it came to dealing with the new professors. Defense Against the Dark Arts class might as well have been renamed to just "Dark Arts." Amycus opened the first lesson by trying to have us all produce Fiendfyre with our wands. Most of us, myself included, simply pretended that it was too advanced for us to get on our first try, and though the professor wasn't exactly kind, he seemed to buy it for the moment. His sister was no better. I'd never taken Muggle Studies before my seventh year, as I already knew quite a lot about the non-magical world. However, it was now a required course, and judging from what I'd heard about it in previous years, the curriculum had undergone a drastic change.

"Everything you've been told about the Muggle race up until now has been false, children," Alecto Carrow told us on the first day. "All they've said of Muggles being just like us? Rubbish! They're animals…no, _worse_ even than animals."

It was easy to tell that the other students were doing their best to ignore what this foul woman was saying. I did the same. After all, if there was one thing I knew about Muggle culture, it was that the bad ones often resorted to propaganda in order to spread their ludicrous ideals. As tempted as I was to inform the professor that her method of teaching was proof that we were more like Muggles than she thought we were, I knew it would prove detrimental to my health. And it was wise for me to keep quiet, since one Hufflepuff learned a harsh lesson about disagreeing with Alecto mere minutes later.

"Don't," Seamus whispered from beside me when I went to say something. "It's no good."

Deep down, I knew he was right. But I also knew we couldn't just step back and watch things go on like this forever. The indignant look in Neville's eye a few desks down was another strong hint of it.

"We need to start something up, and soon," he muttered as we finally left the class.

"But where? How will we all get together without being noticed?"

"Well, we might have to start in our common room for now until we figure out another place."

"Okay."

"And we'll spread the word to whomever we can trust."

I agreed, but it was hard to determine just how many people were on the "trust" list. The numbers were constantly changing. Unfortunately, though the newest staff members tried to pass it off as a "delinquent occurrence," McGonagall secretly told us that since Dean was having trouble finalizing his blood status, they basically tried to put a warrant out for him. We didn't know how, but our head of house assured us that Dean had gotten away from the school safely and was on the run. It was a relief to hear of his escape. However, Seamus was saddened at the absence of his best friend.

"Don't worry," I said after lunch one day. "He'll be fine. He knows his stuff."

"Yeah."

His distress was easy to see, so I knew it would take time for him to feel okay (if that were to happen at all). It was hell on earth for me to not know how my parents were doing, so Seamus had every right to worry for Dean.

"Just remember," I told him, recalling what was spoken to me, "if we don't hear any news about him, he's probably safe."

It was hard to offer any condolences, but all we could do was have hope.

OOOOOOOOOOO

And so life went on for the first couple of weeks. Professor Flitwick thought it was good for us to focus on mastering nonverbal spells.

"If your enemy doesn't know what you're planning to cast, you'll have an advantage," he said. "Advantages of all kinds can be the difference between life and death, especially during these times. Make sure everyone knows that."

"Yes, sir."

I told my friends this once I got back to the common room.

"Blimey," Seamus muttered. "I'm dead meat, then."

"Don't say that! If we focus, we can fend for ourselves."

Neville nodded at Seamus as I looked at him, but for some reason, he wasn't meeting my gaze. This was another of many similar instances when he simply wouldn't look at me. I'd made sure to include him in whatever conversation I was having, but if he responded to anyone, it was with the other person rather than with me. It was strange. He looked at me for a split second, only to glance away yet again and speak.

"Professor."

McGonagall was coming through the portrait door. Though happy to see her, Neville's weird behavior had me distracted. I stepped towards one of the couches as the professor spoke with a few first years. As worried as I was, I tried not to let myself get agitated.

 _He's probably just nervous, like all of us are._

"Miss Ravensdale?"

I glanced up, seeing McGonagall gazing down at me.

"Have you come across any trouble, dear?"

"No, why?"

"Well, one of this year's new Gryffindors got a nasty lesion on his arm for refusing to attempt a dark curse."

"Oh."

It was numbing to hear of such things, but after everything that had transpired, I wasn't surprised. Looking back, that was the scariest notion of all.

"Do be careful, won't you?" she asked, trying to maintain her stern demeanor.

"Yes, professor."

But I wasn't sure if I could.

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 _ **Let me know what you think.**_


	5. United

_**Hi again! I want to take a moment to mention and remember the late and truly great Alan Rickman.**_ _ **Nobody**_ _ **could've played Severus Snape as well as he did. May he Rest in Peace…Always.**_

 _ **That said, read on and enjoy. It's a little short, but I hope you like it.**_

 **mysteryfan4ever-** **Thanks, I'm glad you're liking it =)**

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Shockingly, it didn't take us all that long to realize just how brutal the Death Eaters were. Apparently, all teachers were required to send naughty students to the Carrows for punishment. But it wasn't discipline as much as it was torture. One Ravenclaw fourth-year was subjected to the Cruciatus curse, while one of our own was chained up in the dungeons for three hours straight. I knew most of these kids were hand picked by the new professors from their own classes, since none of the other teachers would willingly let this happen to them.

Despite how bad things were looking, a great deal of us tried not to let it cast its evil shadow. I certainly wasn't going to be distracted from the task at hand, which was to keep morale up among the school. Luckily, Neville was able to secretly get hold of Luna, who spread the word to a few of her classmates. It wasn't as large as the group Harry gathered in fifth year, but it was better than nothing.

"We should start small," Neville muttered to us in one of the many empty passageways in the castle after dinner one night. "We won't draw too much attention to ourselves, but we can at least let everyone know the truth."

"Right, so what's the plan?" asked Seamus.

"For now, we'll write some stuff on the walls. Just some good old-fashioned graffiti, you know."

That was enough to make Seamus grin.

"Nice."

"Everyone can come up with their own words, but make sure it has to do with Dumbledore's Army for the moment. Nothing too dangerous, agreed?"

We all nodded.

"You two," he said, pointing to a couple of sixth-years Luna had brought with her, "take care of a few corridors leading to Ravenclaw tower. Lacey and Seamus, how would you feel about taking the halls near the library?"

"Sure," the two of us answered.

"Okay. Luna and I will go by the dungeons."

My guts lurched for a moment. That was an awfully dangerous place for them to be going near, and if Neville were to put himself in harm's way, why wouldn't he have asked me to go with him? We worked together quite effectively, after all. But nevertheless, I suppressed my concerns and listened as we went on.

"Once you're done, go back to your dormitories as quickly as you can without looking panicked. Everyone set?"

There were no objections, so when everyone scattered, Seamus and I headed towards the library. Luck seemed to be on our side, since nobody was around.

"All right, I'll take this wall."

"Got it," he said with a nod as he went a bit further down on the opposite side.

It took a few seconds to figure out what to write, but once it came to me, I held out my wand and pointed it at the stone.

" _ **DUMBLEDORE'S ARMY UNITED"**_

After writing a few more slogans like this, Seamus and I took one look at each other and made a run for it. The thought of being trapped by the Carrows was scary, but at the same time, the adrenaline of it made me giggle a bit. By the time we reached the portrait, Seamus was obviously holding back laughter. It was only when we were safe in the nearly deserted common room when we finally let loose. Our mission was dangerous, but at the same time, it felt so good to stand up for ourselves and make it known that we weren't going to let the Death Eaters push us around. And it felt good to just _laugh_.

Neville joined us pretty soon after.

"You guys all right?"

"Yeah, you?"

He nodded which made me happy. I thought we all might hang around for a little while longer, but he headed towards the boys' door and looked back at us.

"I'm going to turn in. Good night."

"Night, Neville."

And with that, he went up the stairs. I didn't really know how to interpret his odd behavior. Judging from the weirded out look on Seamus's face, he also knew something was amiss. However, I didn't want to lose focus on our mission in favor of that.

"Good night," I told Seamus before heading up the girls' stairs.

Almost all the other girls had gone to bed, but I kept my distance from anyone still awake. Naturally, Belle was waiting for me on my pillow.

"Hey, sweetheart."

She jumped into my arms as soon as my pajamas were on, and we sat down onto the mattress together. I didn't say anything else, but somehow, she knew I was upset.

 _Lacey, come on. Neville's probably just a little off. Don't get paranoid at a time like this!_

Despite my self-reassurances, it was hard to not be worried. All I could do was hold my friend close until I fell asleep.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

The next morning, I tried to comfort myself with a hot bath. It wasn't much, but it helped at the moment. Afterwards, while combing my hair in front of the mirror, thoughts of Mum rushed into my head.

 _Oh, there's a bit of red in my hair from her after all._

Even thinking of her vibrant hair color brought tears to my eyes. Was she all right, wherever she was? Was Dad safe as well? Had they been captured in secret? Were they alive at all? The uncertainty was agonizing. As much as I tried to remember what they said about the lack of news being a good sign, it was difficult to be optimistic. But for their sake, I was certainly willing to try.

After putting my hair into a braid, I got dressed and headed off to class. Luckily, I didn't have to see our new professors for the time being. Instead, it was merely Potions, Divination, and Charms. The tension amongst everyone made what was going on all too clear, but I was determined to focus on my work. There were plenty of others who did the same, of course. However, not everyone was all that optimistic.

 _How can I blame them?_

I tried to feel happy upon walking out the door with Neville after Divination.

"So, are we going to try again tonight?" I asked.

"Nah," he replied. "It's probably too risky. Luna said one of those fellows that came along with us got a hard time. But maybe we'll have another go in a day or two."

"Ah, right."

"I have to run, but I'll see you."

"Oh…okay."

But he'd already started down the hallway. Though I tried not to let it bug me, there was a bit of a knot in my gut. It only coiled tighter when I saw him join Luna at the end of the corridor. Seeing them walk off together made something shift within me.

 _Wait. Oh, God…does he…?_

The thought of it brought tears to my eyes, but I brushed them away as I went back to the common room for free period. The very possibility for Neville having romantic feelings for someone other than me hurt so much. Still, part of me was convinced that I was growing paranoid.

 _Just because he talks to another girl doesn't mean he loves her. And even if he does, try keeping your priorities in line, such as Voldemort taking over the world!_

These musings helped calm me down enough to reach the common room without crying, but my worries didn't go away all too easily. And they wouldn't for quite a long while.

 **000000000000000**

 _ **Let me know what you think.**_


	6. Rifts

_**Hi again! Sorry this took a little while, but I hope you like it. Read on and enjoy.**_

 **Nargles7111-** **Thanks so much for reviewing! And I think Neville and Luna are cute together as well =)**

 **00000000000000**

"Oh, excellent!"

By late September, I was starting to make progress with nonverbal spells. There was still plenty of room for improvement, of course, but it was encouraging. The students to whom I was able to pass on the instructions were retaining them well enough for the time being. It was difficult to practice between classes, due to being paranoid about the Carrows. Still, despite all of this, most of us held onto our hopes.

"Here, rest for a bit."

I sat upon a desk as Flitwick climbed up to a different one.

"Do you have any questions so far?" he asked.

"No, not for now. But I think it's going all right."

"As do I. In fact, I think it might—"

Just then, the classroom door flew open. I stood just as the professor turned to face the uninvited guest. My heart sunk at the sight of Alecto Carrow.

"Professor Carrow, is there a problem?" asked Flitwick, barely masking the contempt in his voice.

"Not a problem, per se," the squat woman replied with a grin. "I just came to inform you that Miss Ravensdale's lessons are to be terminated immediately."

I kept calm, but it was hard to ignore the bitter feeling in my gut. Professor Flitwick wasn't quite as composed. In fact, he looked angrier than I'd ever seen him before.

"What?" His hands became fists at his sides. "Under whose authority do you give this order?"

"Headmaster Snape's, of course."

A pang of hatred ran through me at the mention of his name. Even in the face of this declaration, Flitwick pressed on.

"But Miss Ravensdale is undergoing concentrated training that will be vital to her future as a Charms professor!"

"I'm aware, but under the Dark Lord's new decree, all students will be assigned suitable positions upon their graduation from Hogwarts. And I hardly think that he will waste their talents on meager _teaching_ jobs."

It was impossible to keep my eyes from tearing up. These lessons were the only thing that kept me optimistic, especially now that Neville was distancing himself from me. With Flitwick's teachings, at least I didn't feel so helpless. And out of nowhere, it was coming to an end.

"Off to bed now, girl," Alecto said, gesturing towards the door with her head. "It's dangerous to be up at this hour."

There wasn't any option other than to obey. After glancing at an apologetic Professor Flitwick, I walked out of the room and proceeded down the corridors. While it wasn't difficult to keep my composure for the duration of the journey, there was no stopping my silent tears.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Even though I longed for my lessons during the following weeks, I did all I could to help out my fellow Gryffindors with the nonverbal spells, especially some of the younger ones. They wouldn't have learned such advanced magic until much later, but I felt it was good for them to at least know the basics. At this point, it was the only thing I could do to stay concentrated. The Carrow siblings were starting to escalate their violence to a frightening level. Not a day went by when I didn't hear at least three horror stories regarding their punishments of students. We kept up our rebellions, but fright still prevented us from doing anything nearly as extreme as the late-night wall writings.

At one point, I was finally able to get Neville's attention long enough to ask him a question.

"So when's the next outing?"

"No one's decided yet, really," he said, glancing away. "People have been scared, so it's hard to figure out a new plan."

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Ginny standing nearby with an odd look on her face. She seemed almost reluctant, as though she pitied me or something. But she kept silent, and I resumed my conversation.

"All right. Well…keep me posted, okay?"

"Sure."

I didn't know what to think, so I just wandered away and plopped into a chair. There was still some Transfiguration work to be done, and I wanted to focus on the subjects I loved. Eventually, as the hours ticked by, my eyes became too heavy to do anything else other than go to bed.

Belle's close proximity helped me doze off pretty quickly, but right before falling asleep, I remembered hearing very soft footsteps going down the dorm steps.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

"Wait…they what?"

"It's true!" Seamus said in the common room after breakfast the next morning. "Snape caught Neville, Ginny, and Luna trying to steal from his office!"

 _Oh, it must've been Ginny I heard last night!_

"But are they all right?"

"Far as I know, sure. I haven't seen them."

Neither had I. All throughout breakfast, there was no sign of the three. I was just starting to worry when the portrait swung open, revealing both Neville and Ginny. The room nearly exploded into an uproar, but McGonagall followed them inside, quickly quieting things down. She led Neville to a corner and appeared to be scolding him. When Ginny wandered in my direction, I hesitantly approached her.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said, shrugging. "Just tired. Snape said we had to go to the Forbidden Forest with Hagrid, but it was fine."

"What were you guys trying to do?"

"That Gryffindor sword. We thought Harry would need it, wherever he is, so we took it. Not quickly enough, though."

I nodded as she tiredly pattered away. Neville seemed just as exhausted, and once the professor was finished speaking with him, he went up to his own dorm.

"Of all the reckless and irresponsible…"

It was hard to hear the rest of what McGonagall said, since my own thoughts were starting to spin. I was relieved that none of them were hurt, but at the same time, I was a bit disappointed. Neville said there weren't any other plans for the Army as of yet, but he lied. He actually _lied_ to my face. The last time I'd felt so left out was when I was still going to that Muggle school. And at the same time, I couldn't stop myself from feeling resentful.

 _I guess I wasn't good enough in his mind. Of course_ _ **Luna**_ _was, but not me. An oh-so-interesting lamp probably distracted that silly girl when they were trying to make off with the sword…_

Guilt struck me as soon as the thought went through my brain. How could I possibly think such mean things about Luna? None of this was her fault. I couldn't force Neville to not care for her, to not think her better for such a dangerous job than I was.

 _No, Lacey. Don't be mad at her. It's not her fault._

I could only take a deep breath and hope that matters wouldn't get any worse.

OOOOOOOOOO

Unfortunately, they did.

"Miss Ravensdale," Professor McGonagall said before I could leave class a couple of weeks later.

"Hmm?"

As everyone else left the room, I approached her. She had a look of pity on her face that confused me.

"Forgive me, dear, but I…I overheard something, and I didn't want you to hear it from one of _them_."

I was baffled for a moment, but her next words made my guts knot together.

"It seems that a group of Death Eaters located your parents yesterday."

My breath got caught in my throat.

"What…? Are they…?"

"Oh, they got away just in time. They were staying with your mother's parents in Africa." This was surprising to hear, since Mum hadn't spoken to them in years. "Your grandparents were able to stall long enough for Bernard and Abigail to escape, but…I'm sorry to say it, but they were killed."

As happy as I was to hear of my parents being safe, my heart ached for Grandma and Grandpa. I never understood why there was such a rift between them and Mum, and it was a sore subject for her. But part of me hoped that they were all able to make peace. I barely remembered them, since I was just a little kid when I saw them last. Still, I recalled Grandpa having an odd harshness about him.

 _His magic probably had twice as much when he fought those bastards._

I glanced down as McGonagall laid a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"Mum and Dad…you're sure they got away?"

"Absolutely. I don't know where they are now, but if they weren't safe, we'd hear of it."

That was good enough for the moment. With all that was happening, all anyone could do was focus on the silver linings.

 **0000000000000**

 _ **Let me know what you think.**_


	7. Explosion

_**Hi again! Read on and enjoy.**_

 **000000000000**

It was amazing how swiftly the first part of the year went by. Then again, maybe we all just distracted ourselves enough to forget the time that was passing. The only uplifting thing was that we could all get away from the corrupted school for a little while, and perhaps enjoy our Christmas as well. Unfortunately, it was not to be.

Despite all I'd done to make myself think nicer thoughts about Luna, she and Neville were still spending a lot of time together. It's not that I didn't like my friend hanging out with other girls, but he seemed to be excluding me more and more with each day. Though I was supposed to go home with him for the break, I wasn't nearly as happy about it as I used to be. And later, when we found out that Death Eaters had dragged Luna off the train (which had made an unexpected and unannounced stop halfway through the ride), things got even dimmer. Every negative thought I'd ever had about her nagged at my mind like nobody's business.

 _Oh, God…I'm the most wicked person alive._

Though I knew my jealousy probably wasn't the cause for Luna's abduction, it was still hard to not feel guilty for it. Poor Neville seemed pretty upset, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. In fact, I sat in a different booth with Parvati and Seamus, leaving my friend with Ginny. Being near him was just too difficult. Despite his history of making jokes, even Seamus didn't talk much. That was the influence our school now had on us.

I almost didn't notice when we finally arrived at King's Cross and were driven back to the Longbottom residence. It was as if I'd become a robot. Then again, Neville was in a similar state.

"Everything all right?" the older woman asked me, not too long after a very awkward dinner. "I heard what happened with that poor Lovegood girl, but is there something else?"

I didn't know how to answer her, since I didn't want to put Neville's own grandmother in between the whole mess. Instead, I shrugged.

"I dunno."

Neville went to his bedroom after everything was cleaned up, which didn't really faze me all that much. But I felt a strong need to distance myself from him. Once I'd put on her harness and leash, Belle and I took a walk outside.

Being completely alone with my dog was more of a comfort than I thought it would be, more than anything I'd felt during the year up to that point. She always had that uncanny ability to soothe me in some way. Nevertheless, as we wandered towards the woods behind the house, I let my mind wander likewise. Six years prior, it would've been difficult to imagine so many things being wrong all at once. But now, I found myself growing accustomed to misfortune. Everyone was. And that was probably what disturbed me the most.

My parents weighed heavily in my heart as well. I had absolutely no inkling of where they were, but the close call in Africa wasn't reassuring, to say nothing about my grandparents being murdered. Despite remembering what they said before leaving, I hated not hearing anything. But I didn't want to hear anything, since that would mean something bad had happened. The way my longing contradicted itself was maddening.

Part of me wondered why we weren't strong enough to prevent the takeover at the Ministry. It was probably because of the Death Eater's constant sneak attacks and the lack of unity within our own numbers. But it was still hard to believe. All the stories I'd read as a child spoke of how good always conquered evil.

 _Not always, I suppose._

We were helpless, and I hated it. I hated the vermin who'd penetrated the walls of our castle and struck terror into the souls of everyone within. I hated dreading the very place I'd grown to love. I hated how powerless our professors were to protect us any more than they were already trying to. I hated Snape, someone I thought was on our side, in spite of all the characteristics that suggested the opposite. But most of all, I hated the fact that I had this much hate inside of me.

The walk was barely able to keep me grounded enough to remember what we were all working for, but it was hard to not focus on my bitterness. Neville's lack of interest in me certainly didn't help. Deep down, I knew nobody could really control whom he or she had feelings for. I definitely didn't expect to fall in love with him, nor could he have expected to do the same with Luna. But it still hurt. Though it would've hurt if all this other rubbish wasn't happening, it was even worse combined with everything else. Indeed, it seemed that our whole lives were getting darker with each passing day.

OOOOOOOOOOO

Neville barely spoke to me the whole break. There was a tree set up in the living room, but everyone was too dulled to even consider exchanging gifts. At that point, I actually wanted him to leave me alone. Being near him made the pain swell in my gut like never before. Instead, I tried distracting myself by focusing on a few assignments from other classes. There wasn't a whole lot to work on, but it was better than the alternative.

Things were no different upon returning to Hogwarts. The Carrows still maintained their reign of terror, and the overall atmosphere of the school was as glum as it was before the holidays. To make it worse, both Amycus and Alecto were escalating their teachings to frightening levels by punishing students who didn't participate in the horrible curriculum. Rumor had it that they were starting with the unfortunate first-years, but it was only a matter of time before they got to us.

One afternoon, during a free period, the anxiety got to be too much. I found Ginny in the common room and approached her.

"Ginny, what's the plan?"

"Hmm?"

"Are we trying anything else soon?"

"No," she replied, shaking her head. "We're laying low for now until things cool off."

I couldn't help but feel resentful upon hearing this.

"Is that the truth?"

She looked a bit guilty.

"I know what you're thinking, Lacey, and I'm sorry. I wanted to fill you in about it."

"They why wasn't I filled in?"

"He made me promise not to."

 _Just like I thought. He thought I wasn't strong enough, or maybe he wanted me gone so he could have some quality time with his precious Luna._

The jealousy coursed through me like a freight train, forcing me to move away from Ginny before I exploded.

"But there's really no new plan right now, I swear," she exclaimed before going up to the dorms.

I went to a chair in the corner and kept to myself for a while, waiting until I was calm. Despite feeling horrible about both my wicked thoughts regarding Luna and her current predicament, fighting off my anger was proving to be a trying task. The sight of Neville coming through the portrait hole a while later only made things worse. He walked over to Seamus and Parvati, and they muttered quietly for a while. I tried to ignore it, but when Seamus glanced at me with that maddening look of pity, something inside me snapped. It was as if an invisible puppet master had his strings attached to my nerves.

"Well?" I asked with no subtlety as I walked over. "Out with it."

"Take it easy, Lace," Parvati said, trying to corral me away.

I immediately pushed her arm off and glared at Neville with all my ire.

"You may have forgotten, but last time I checked, we were supposed to be heading the Army together."

"We are," he answered rather unconvincingly.

"Really? Then why am I still being kept in the dark?"

"I…"

His inability to respond just made me even angrier.

"Right. You can't come up with an excuse, because there isn't one."

"You don't understand, it's just—"

" _Stop_. Stop acting like I'm being unreasonable. You've gone out of your way to avoid me for weeks. Months, even! So what's the issue?"

"Lacey, just calm down. We're all having problems. There's a bigger picture…"

He seemed to regret saying the words the moment they left his mouth, but it was too late. All of my pent-up rage and grief suddenly ignited.

"You think I don't know that?" People were staring now, but I didn't care. "My grandparents are _dead_ , Neville! And God knows where the bloody hell my parents are, or if they're even alive! Believe me, I see the bigger picture every day."

"I know, I—"

" _Do_ you?"

My face felt like it was burning, only to turn cold in a moment. It was as if something inside me was deflating. The prying eyes surrounding us made my head spin, and before anyone could say another word, I turned and ran out the portrait hole. I thought I heard Seamus trying to get everyone to mind their business, but at that point, I didn't know if I could trust anything that reached my ears.

OOOOOOOOOO

By the time I stopped running, I barely knew where I was. But there was a dark sky above me. It looked as though a loud storm was coming. Then again, the sky had that gloom for most of the year. After a few numb moments, it hit me. It was the courtyard where we found Dumbledore.

Raindrops started coming down a couple of seconds later, but I didn't notice. All I could do was just stand there. In the distance, it wasn't hard to see a handful of Dememtors hovering among the clouds. Despite how heavy the rain was getting, they stood out like they were right in front of me rather than far away. My hands were shaking, and for a moment, I wondered if this whole thing had been a bad dream. Perhaps I would wake up to how it was before everything went to hell. But deep down, I knew it was no dream.

"Miss Ravensdale!"

Professor Flitwick's voice was barely recognizable to me, since it sounded like an echo. But before I knew it, he was at my side and jumping up to grab my wrist. I took a final glance up at the Astronomy Tower as I was pulled inside.

By the time my concentration returned, it brought a chilly damp feeling with it.

 _Oh, right…I'm all wet._

"What in Merlin's name were you doing?"

"I…"

No response came to mind. I could only stand there like an idiot as the professor gazed out at the storm before looking back at me. All of a sudden, my legs simply gave out. Though I was already starting to lean against the wall, I couldn't stop myself from sinking to the floor.

"Come now," Flitwick muttered as merrily as he could, eventually reaching out to pat my forearm. "It's just a bit of rain."

Shaking my head was all I could think to do.

"I can't. It's too much…"

"You have to be strong." There was much more assertiveness in his normally high-pitched voice. "If we're going to stand together, we need everyone alert and thinking."

As much as I just wanted to sink into the floor and vanish forever, I knew he was right. It was just so painful to press on without the support of Mum and Dad, to say nothing about Neville. My stomach hurt upon remembering how I'd blown up at him like that. There was far too much that hurt.

But I took that time for myself. I simply sat there with the trustworthy professor nearby, not knowing whether to dread or hope for the moment I mustered enough strength to return to the common room.

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 _ **Let me know what you think.**_


	8. Amends and Acceptance

_**Hi again! This chapter's a little shorter than others, but I hope you like it. Read on and enjoy.**_

 **mysteryfan4ever-** **LOL, who knows? ;) Thanks for commenting!**

 **Guest-** **Thank you so much!**

 **0000000000000**

Eventually, Flitwick persuaded me to go back and dry myself off. As reluctant as I was to do so, I knew I'd probably catch a cold or something if I didn't. After making sure none of the hated officials were roaming around, I slowly wandered to the common room. Thankfully, it was mostly abandoned. I ignored the handful of stares and went up to change out of my damp clothes. Belle seemed worried, but she simply sat at the foot of my bed as I pulled on some pajamas. Then, she hopped into my arms.

I was still shivering a bit, and after a blur of time had passed, the thought of the common room fireplace was too much to resist. Luckily, once I got down there again, everyone else had gone to bed. Once I'd made my way to one of the sofas by the fire, I plopped down and folded my legs underneath me. Belle settled herself on my lap and curled into a ball. Relishing the warmth from both the fire and my dog, I mindlessly caressed her back and gazed into the flames. Part of me wondered if I had destroyed the best friendship I'd ever experienced.

 _If he didn't have a good reason for avoiding me before, he's certainly got one now. How could I lose it like that? I must've looked like a bloody harpy._

It wasn't long before my eyes teared up. Things were difficult enough as it was, but how would I be able to function without my friends? It wasn't just Neville who heard me, after all. Seamus was there, as was Parvati and a few others. Had I just lost all of them in one day?

Just then, there was a noise near one side of the room. I glanced up to see the entrance to the boys' dorms opening. My heart skipped a beat upon seeing Neville in his bathrobe, and my fear compelled me to look back at the fireplace. I almost expected him to retreat at the sight of me. But he didn't. Instead, he carefully shut the door behind him and tentatively approached the fire. The tension was almost unendurable. Still, I made myself speak up.

"I…I shouldn't have lost my temper."

That was the truth. I meant every word of what I said to him, as the way he'd been treating me really wasn't kind. But I was a seventh year. The older kids were supposed to set good examples for the young ones, and I certainly didn't do that.

"No, you were right," Neville said, to my great surprise. "I've been leaving you in the dark."

He sat on the couch across from me and fumbled with his hands, gazing into the fire.

"Why?" After a few seconds, he looked at me. "Why did you?"

"I don't know."

I couldn't help but feel frustrated by that answer. Nevertheless, I really wanted to know what was behind his determination to get away from me.

"Did you figure I'd mess things up, like with that sword? That I wouldn't—"

"No, no, nothing like that."

"Well, what else could it be?"

"I…I've just been off. All year, my thinking's been mixed up. It's hard to concentrate."

This answer sounded a little shifty to me, but I let it slide.

 _He probably doesn't want to admit how he feels about Luna._

However, I understood the general idea of what he was saying. Everything that had been going on for the past several months would make the smartest person in the world clueless about what to do. It's how I was feeling, how loads of other students and teachers were probably feeling as well. The situation was turning all of us into helpless nutters. And I was too focused on myself to realize that Neville's anxiety was also off the wall.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, looking down. "I was being selfish."

At that, Neville stood and came over to sit next to me.

"No, Lacey. Keeping Army information from you was stupid. It's me who should be sorry, and I am."

"I was in the wrong too, though."

Things were quiet for a while. We simply stared in front of us, no longer focused on the fireplace. It felt so strange to talk with my friend like this, given how long it had been since the last time. This was the relationship I'd grown to love. I hated not being close to him. The very notion of us not being friends, of us fighting…I couldn't even think of it.

"Have you talked to someone about how you've felt?" I asked.

"Professor McGonagall, sometimes."

"Good. So do I."

Another pause.

"I'm really sorry, Neville. You should've been able to talk to me, but I was—"

"No, I was being an arse to you. It wasn't your fault."

"I could have been a better friend."

Neville slowly put an arm around my shoulders upon hearing this.

"You've been the best friend I've ever had."

These words made my insides feel warmer than they'd felt in so long. It was incredibly intense, like an ice cube being thrown into boiling water. At that moment, I made a decision.

 _Oh, Neville…you're so wonderful, far too wonderful to be unhappy. If Luna lives through this, if she makes him happy, then that's fine. As long as they're happy together…I just want to stay in his life. I couldn't bear not being friends anymore._

As painful as it was to think of a future where I'd see Neville and Luna as a loving couple, a future where I wasn't in her place, I knew it was a better way to think. After all, if one truly loves another person, they'd want them to be happy, even if it wasn't with them. And I had no intention of being on the bitter end of an unrequited bond.

But my mind was further soothed when I mended things with my other friends the next day, with some help from Neville. They were more understanding than I felt like I deserved them to be.

"No worries," Seamus had said. "With times like these, anyone would go mad."

This kind of support made things better. Even if my feelings of love weren't returned, at least I had people who would soften the aches in my heart.

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	9. Final Moments?

_**Hi again! Read on and enjoy.**_

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It was a smart idea for me to make things right with Neville and the other Gryffindors, because the next couple of months strengthened our friendships like nothing before. Circumstances at Hogwarts were slowly but surely getting worse. People's relatives were disappearing more frequently, and even a few students were vanishing. The Death Eaters and the Prophet tried to cover it up, of course, but we all knew how bad it was.

The only silver lining was the approaching Easter break, and this time, I looked forward to it. Neville and I had been getting along much better, so the time away from school would give us an opportunity to think of some new ideas for Dumbledore's Army. Unfortunately, we suffered another loss before reaching this reprieve. Hagrid had drawn the wrong kind of attention to himself via a "Support Harry Potter" party in March. I would've loved to go if I'd known of the occasion beforehand, but it was an awfully risky move on his part. Luckily, he got away just in time and was able to hide himself. All the rest of us could do was hope for him to stay that way.

Only when we were finally back at the Longbottom residence could I let myself relax. Even Belle seemed to be more at ease there. It was still difficult to have such negative feelings about Hogwarts, but given how things were, the chances of the place ever going back to normal weren't of an optimistic number.

"Any ideas?" I asked my friend a few days after we arrived.

"Well, I don't think we should do anything too drastic. The Carrows are getting reckless with detentions, and Hagrid's not there for easier punishments anymore."

"There must be something that'll keep morale up. Especially the first-years, if they get too scared, everyone will give up."

"I just don't want anyone else hurt."

My thoughts wandered towards Luna upon hearing this. I couldn't keep from feeling bad again, especially in light of Neville's feelings for her. Still, I eventually pushed the guilt away and regained my focus. If we were to save Luna, we had to stick together.

"I get that. But even the smallest bits of rebellion will keep people's spirits high."

"Yeah, maybe we can write more stuff on the walls and go from there."

It wasn't anything new, but at the moment, it was all we had.

OOOOOOOOOO

The rest of the break was surprisingly enjoyable, and when we got back to Hogwarts, we didn't really need to raise morale all that much. Our common room was soon buzzing with news about Harry's whereabouts. Apparently, he'd been brought to the Malfoy residence, along with Ron and Hermione.

"It's true!" Parvati told me.

"But how d'you know? Is it in the paper?"

"No, it's Potterwatch on the radio. They're trying to keep tabs on them."

"Wait, what happened? Are they hurt?"

"I dunno the specifics, but they got away."

That was such a relief. Plus, the fact that they were still alive filled me with so much hope. I didn't know what this unfamiliar radio channel was all about, but whatever it was, I already liked it. And this wasn't the only good news of the day. After getting back to the common room from the lavatory, I saw Neville sitting in a chair with a tiny bit of parchment in his hand.

"What is it?" I asked hesitantly.

Without a word, he gave me the paper. There was one word on it: _Nargles._

"She's free," he ultimately muttered. "She's alive."

"Oh, thank God."

Hearing the news was a wonderful thing. No matter how jealous I felt towards Luna, I never wished her any harm, to say nothing about wanting her dead. And now that she wasn't a prisoner anymore, she and Neville had a chance to be reunited. However painful that concept was in my gut, all I wanted was for my best friend to be happy. At least there was hope for him.

OOOOOOOOOO

Despite the renewed morale amongst the students, it was getting harder to ignore the bad things. I nearly lost it when Alecto Carrow threw a curse at Neville during Muggle Studies around the start of April. By the grace of God, he wasn't fatally hurt, and he even managed to restrain me before I could think of hexing the "teacher."

"Don't," he muttered. "Don't make things worse."

I accompanied him to Madam Pomfrey's office right after class, and luckily, the wound was a mere cut on his shoulder.

"It'll take longer to heal since it's a magical wound, but this should numb the pain." She handed Neville a small vial before continuing her exam. "What were you thinking?"

"I didn't like what she said about Muggles having blood that was biologically similar to scum, so I asked how much non-magical blood she had."

I grimaced at the memory, but Pomfrey was aghast.

"You need to _hold your tongue_ with these people, boy!"

She was obviously trying not to say anything incriminating, but I could've sworn that there was a glimmer of pride in her eyes.

"Run along now," she said as she ushered us to the door, "and try not to get yourself killed next time."

This incident didn't damper Neville's rebellious spirit in the least, and that night, we gathered a subtle group of Gryffindors to scatter graffiti again. Seamus went with Lavender Brown, Parvati went with a sixth-year named Philip, and I went with Neville. The two of us took the most daring route: the hallway leading to the Headmaster's office. It was unspeakably dangerous, but once people learned of it, spirits would surely soar.

Once the group split up, we sprinted to our destination, took out our wands, and immediately got to work. I wrote _**OFFICE OF ALBUS DUMBLEDORE**_ with an arrow pointing towards the magic staircase. On the other side of the gargoyle, Neville wrote something about Snape that nearly made me laugh out loud; I'd never heard him use such profane words in any conversation we'd had up to that point. But I concentrated, and once we both felt satisfied, we ran back to the common room as quickly as we could. Seamus and Lavender were all right, but Parvati was crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked, hesitantly approaching her. "Are you hurt?"

"No, I…Philip fell behind, and the Carrows caught him. I wanted to go back, but—"

"You couldn't have helped," Neville said. "Don't blame yourself."

When poor Philip limped to breakfast the next morning with bruises covering almost every inch of his face, it was tough for any of us to fight off the guilt. He laughed it off like it wasn't a big deal, but it looked really painful. With every new horror story about the Carrow siblings, my hatred for them grew even more, and I didn't know how much longer I could hold it back.

OOOOOOOOO

"Today," Amycus drawled in Dark Arts class with us and the Ravenclaws a few days later, "we'll be revisiting the effects of the Cruciatus Curse."

My stomach felt like it was twisting. We'd seen this too many times already, and it was obvious that our teacher had a sick enjoyment for it. To be honest, I didn't know what the hell he expected from us. You had to have a desire to cause pain in order to use the curse, and aside from a handful of the Slytherins, nobody could give the subject anything more than a bellyache. Amycus always ended up torturing the poor victim himself, and if he were in a bad mood, he'd give the failed curser a taste of it as well.

"Our volunteer is _this_ little rotter." He pulled out a terrified Hufflepuff boy from behind the blackboard and threw him to the floor. "He was heard badmouthing the Headmaster, so you'll be giving him a lesson in manners."

My eyes teared up a little bit. The child had to have been a first-year, and the fact that he was brave enough to talk down Snape was amazing. But my heart was hurting badly for him. After kicking the boy a few times, Amycus turned to us and gestured with his wand.

"Will any of you volunteer, or must I pick someone out again?"

A few tense seconds went by. Looking back now, I'm not really sure what came over me, but my hand slowly went up. It was odd to see the Death Eater look so gleeful.

"Ah, Miss Ravensdale! Figured you might come around."

Neville gave me a concerned look, and I attempted to reassure him with my eyes. As I stood up and approached the front of the classroom, I quickly threw a plan of action together.

 _Lacey, are you_ _ **mad?!**_ _What the devil is your idea?_

Still, I thought of getting the first-year's attention long enough to mouth the word "scream" to him, and then, if he understood my intentions, pretending to cast the curse. But I wasn't sure it would work, so I tried to stall for time.

"I forgot, professor…what's the wand movement?"

"None." By now, Carrow had folded his arms in front of him in a seemingly prideful way. "Just point and curse. But you've got to _mean it,_ girl. Alecto told me about that Mudblood teacher of yours, so maybe pretend you're hexing him."

This made something shift within me. Yes, I'd written about Mr. Dewhurst for a Muggle Studies assignment. We were supposed to do reports about horrid examples of non-magic people, and he was the only thing I could come up with. I was afraid of what Alecto would do if I didn't follow the assignment. And now, this excuse for a man actually thought I was capable of evil acts just because of a mean teacher I had when I was eight? The very notion of it made my brain heat up. I wasn't shaking, but it felt like a stick of dynamite had been lit in my belly.

I still feel like an idiot for what happened next, but I did it all the same. After forming the first syllable of the curse on my lips while pointing my wand at the sobbing boy, I instantly turned towards Amycus.

" _Expelliarmus!_ " His wand flew to the side of the room, and before the rotten man even knew what hit him, I spoke again. " _Petrificus Totalus!"_

He was on the floor in an instant, stiff as a pole. People were gasping all over the room, and I even heard Neville shouting out to me. But I didn't care. It all became an echo as I approached the unmoving Death Eater and aimed my wand right at him. My blood was boiling like never before, and consequences be damned, this bastard would feel pain for all the hurt he'd brought onto us.

"I've got to mean it, huh? Don't worry, I do!"

I was just about to say the word when a shock-like jolt struck me from my left side. The blow didn't knock me over, but my wand suddenly flew from my grasp, and an eerie silence filled the room. Once the absence of the thin smooth wood against my fingers registered in my brain, I quickly looked in the direction of the attack. My guts felt like they were turning to ice.

Standing a few feet from the back desks, with my wand in his free hand, was Snape.

I couldn't think for a moment, but once the ability returned to me, it was pure loathing. The sight of him holding my beloved wand was repulsive to the point where I barely noticed him undoing my curse against Amycus. In an instant, the furious man stood up, snatched up his wand, and stormed at me.

"Why, you impudent little piece of—"

"No need, Professor Carrow," Snape muttered all too casually.

At this point, my eyes drifted over to Neville. He'd risen to his feet, and he was looking at me with pure terror in his face. That expression made me realize what I had done, and by the time the headmaster started speaking again, a cold fear was growing within me.

"Miss Ravensdale has been nothing but trouble ever since her first year at this school. You may rest assured that I will take great pleasure…in dealing with her _myself_."

I hadn't stopped looking at my friend, but the hateful man's glare still penetrated the side of my head. The full weight of what was to come hit my thoughts like the Hogwarts Express at full speed.

 _I'm dead. Oh God, I'm going to die today. It's over._

The satisfied smirk that appeared on Amycus's face a few moments later broke me out of my shock, and I noticed Snape pocketing my wand and gesturing towards the opened door with his own. Despite my stiffening fright, I persuaded my legs to move. Not wanting to be near this despicable traitor, I walked right next to the Gryffindor desks on my way to the exit. It was such a numb feeling, almost like I was in a trance. But before I could pass Neville or my empty seat, he reached out and grabbed me by the wrist.

"No," he said, trying to move me behind him while reaching into his pocket for his wand. "Leave her alone!"

I suddenly felt afraid for him. It was too late for me, but I couldn't let Neville put himself in danger. Amycus had already stepped forward, ready to intervene. Unable to bear what might've happened next, I grabbed Neville's hand before it could dip into the pocket.

"Neville, _stop_."

All I could to was tighten my hold on it and focus on how warm his palm felt against mine. Though the film of tears that were filling my eyes made it difficult, I stared into his and tried to burn him into my brain. A dormant section of my thoughts attempted to doubt that I would be dead by sunset, but then again, it was entirely possible, if not probable. I wasn't even a pure-blood, so the Death Eaters wouldn't consider my demise to be that big of a loss.

 _And Snape…I called him things, I pulled my bloody wand on him one time. He's most likely going to torture me first, and then he's going to kill me._

Part of me wondered if my fears were exaggerated, but deep down, I knew that if Snape was capable of murdering Professor Dumbledore, he was capable of doing the same to any of us, to say nothing about anyone who'd ever given him a hard time. Yes…I believed with all my heart that those moments with Neville was the last time I would even see him. I would never lay eyes on Mum and Dad again, or my other friends, or any of the trusted professors. And if these were my last seconds with the person I loved, I wanted to absorb them to the fullest.

"Lacey…" Neville whispered, his eyes tearing up.

"It'll be fine," I replied, even though I knew it wouldn't. "Just..."

At that moment, I wondered if I should tell him how I felt. I would never get another chance to do so, and I wanted him to know someone else loved him. But I couldn't. Despite the actual Angel of Death looming over me like an ugly cloud, I was still too afraid to reveal my love for my best friend.

It felt like hours, but it had only been a matter of moments. I didn't want to fend off the inevitable for too long, so as much as I hated doing so, I let go of Neville. My own hand felt cold upon doing this, but I balled it into a fist. After taking a shallow breath, I carefully walked towards the door, followed closely by Snape. Something compelled me to turn around and gaze at my friend just one more time. He was looking at me, and since Seamus was holding onto his shoulder with an expression of pity on his face, I wondered if he'd tried to come after me. But he didn't get a chance to, as the door slammed shut from the inside a few seconds later.

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	10. Terror

_**Hi again! Read on and enjoy.**_

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"You are a ridiculously stupid girl."

The first words out of Snape's mouth when we reached the Headmaster's office were enough to lift me from my terror, but once I got my bearings, all I knew was rage. Dumbledore's environment was practically unrecognizable, with the exception of its circular enclosure. Things used to be interesting and somewhat cluttered in earlier years. True, I was only in there once, but the former headmaster probably maintained its unique style up until his death. Now, everything was bleak and dark. If not for the tall thin windows leading to the gray outdoors, I most likely wouldn't be able to see a thing. Snape fit right in with such a blackened room.

His statement made me exceptionally angry, not just because of his heinous crime, but also due to the words being so recognizable. It was very common for him to talk to students like this while still a professor, myself being no exception. The fact that he was speaking to me like a normal teacher would speak to a misbehaving child was infuriating. He killed Professor Dumbledore, and he had the nerve to act like it wasn't a big deal? The sight of Dumbledore's portrait on the wall behind the desk nearly made me explode. But I was unable to calm myself enough to think of a response to the insult, so I looked at the dozing picture. However, the traitorous man obviously didn't plan on stopping there.

"Has your lack of intelligence turned you into a vegetable, Miss Ravensdale?" he asked, turning towards his desk to fiddle with a quill.

It still occurred to me that I wouldn't leave the room alive, but I couldn't hold back for another moment. If I was going to be killed anyways, there was no harm in speaking my mind.

"Maybe I do lack intelligence, but I'd rather be a stupid girl than a murdering coward like you."

Snape's wand suddenly reappeared into his hand, and in the blink of an eye, he was in front of me. I impulsively backed up against a bookcase, startled by how fast this was happening.

"Always acting before thinking." His wand was pointed at my torso in an almost casual manner. "Second time today, isn't it? You must be an unusually lucky idiot to have survived this long."

"Shut up."

His eyes flashed in anger.

"What did you say?"

"I said, _shut up_."

I still feel just as idiotic as he accused me of being for saying these things, but I couldn't help it. The adrenaline was messing with my common sense, and the mix of anger and fear didn't help either. But just seeing that I'd gotten to him satisfied me enough to keep going.

"If I had to repeat myself, maybe _you're_ the stupid one."

Part of me expected to be cursed for this, but it didn't happen. Instead, Snape put his wand away and gave me a condescending stare with those penetrating eyes. It felt like he could see right through me.

"So childish. I don't know why your little rebellion in Professor Carrow's class is a surprise. You've seen his teachings, but you obviously haven't learned what harm can be done to students who _don't listen_."

 _Why's he telling me this? Can't he just get on with whatever he'll do?_

"Then again," he continued, intensifying his gaze, "you're likely too busy trying to be noticed by your silly friends."

"Wh…"

"Was Longbotton not paying attention to you? You were willing to put yourself in harm's way just so he'd shed tears at the sight of your gallantry?"

"You don't know what you're—"

I wasn't sure if he was reading my mind, or how he might be doing it, but it was reawakening my fear. No matter what it was, I had no desire to hear it, especially not from this man. I tried to inch away, but Snape quickly moved both hands to the shelves on either side of me.

"I knew you were stupid before, but this…you're more naïve than I thought."

" _Stop_."

As embarrassing as it was for him to say these things, I actually found myself wondering if it was true. Why had I done what I did in class? I was genuinely angry due to all the Carrows had done to us, and to the school, but was that the true reason? Or was it as Snape claimed: an attempt to gain Neville's love by making myself a martyr?

 _No, I want him to be happy with Luna! I know he won't choose me if he already loves her…_

I was too scared and furious to know what to think. All I could focus on was my desire to get away from Snape. Then again, he wouldn't allow it. Perhaps that was his plan, to break me down and humiliate me before putting me out of my misery. Still certain that I was going to die no matter what, I decided not to let him have the satisfaction of breaking me.

Despite not having my wand, there was probably something nearby that I could use as a temporary weapon. Without thinking, I summoned every bit of my anger and shoved at his shoulder. Once there was enough room to get by, I ran past him and rushed to the short flight of stairs leading to the desk.

"How _dare_ you!" Snape snarled from behind me.

I didn't know how much time I had, so I laid eyes on a random metal sculpture on the counter.

 _It'll have to do._

But before I could think of using it, Snape was upon me. I hadn't even raised the object in attack when he sent it flying across the room with a flick of his wand.

"Go on, then," I growled, slightly disappointed at the sight of him putting his weapon away again. "Stop wasting my time and _do it._ "

Any sane person would think I was mad to speak to him like this, but it had reached the point where I just wanted it done. I couldn't stand the idea of him drawing it out, and the fact that he was stalling only served to heighten my fury even more. Still, he did it nonetheless.

"You just won't learn, will you?" Snape was as calm as he ever was, but the dangerous black rage in his eyes made my heart thunder. "That's the problem with you and your fellow Gryffindors. You think disobedience is bravery, but all you're doing is focusing on your infantile emotions."

Something finally gave way. I was so tired of listening to him talk, and of seeing that miserable smug expression. Even before he killed the Headmaster, I'd wanted to beat that arrogant look from his face. Over six years of this dormant desire rapidly boiled over, and after balling my hands into fists, I swung. However, he must've seen the assault coming. In a matter of seconds, he'd snatched both of my wrists and halted them. I hadn't even processed what was happening, but once it hit me, his wand was at my throat and his free hand had grabbed my neck from behind. My body froze briefly before I struggled again.

"Let go!" I snapped, reaching up in an attempt to pull his arm back. "Let **go** of me, you spineless _traitor!_ "

But Snape didn't reply. He merely tightened his grip and pressed his wand even more harshly to my skin. It felt like a needle. No matter how viciously I attempted to get away, he was too strong. The inevitable began crashing down on me, and I closed my eyes, not caring about my frightened tears. I saw images of Belle, Mum, Dad, Neville, and the others flashing before me. Then, all of the tension left my body, and I was ready.

 _God, let him do it now. Please let it be over._

It wasn't. There was a loud pounding in my chest that proved so. But the wand continued pressing into my pulse, forcing me to lean my head back against his shoulder. Time seemed to have come to a stop. Then, I felt him speak directly into my ear.

"Your life could be vanquished in an instant, Miss Ravensdale. If I were to make such a choice, nothing would stop it." Part of me wanted to flinch away from his voice, but I was frozen. "You are weak, feeble, and utterly powerless, so trying to fight against me, or your new professors, would be pointless in every way. Don't you _understand_ that yet?"

Due to my panic, I was barely able to absorb what he was saying. I could only stare ahead of me towards Dumbledore's portrait. The man in the painting had woken up at some point, and now, he was looking at me with a great amount of concern. I shuddered to think of what else he'd seen happen in this room, even if he was just an enchanted object. But I didn't get a chance to imagine the possibilities.

"Now," Snape continued, lowering his wand hand, "I trust you won't make any more foolish choices?"

Just then, I felt something thin and long slide into the pocket of my robe.

 _My wand…_

His wand was back at my neck in a flash.

"Are you _deaf,_ girl? You are never to stir up useless battles again. Is that understood?"

My words were stuck in my throat, and not just because it was still in his grasp. This was shocking. He was actually going to release me? Or would he shoot a curse into my back once I looked away?

" _Is that understood?_ " Snape repeated harshly, prodding at me with the wand.

All I could do was nod. Despite not being able to move much in his hold, he must've seen the gesture. Without a word, his wand went down and the other hand released me. The adrenaline in my body propelled me down the small staircase and helped me open the door wide enough to exit the room. I didn't even think to look behind me. I just ran, not stopping until I was back in the hallway that led to Gryffindor Tower. Once it sunk in that I was away from Snape, and that I was still alive, I slumped against the wall and wrapped my arms around myself. I didn't realize that I was crying until almost a minute had passed, but I didn't care. It was all too much to process. I just knew that for the moment, I was alive.

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